


Bargains

by falsechaos



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Gen, Interrogation, Snark, frostiron if you squint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-25
Updated: 2012-11-25
Packaged: 2017-11-19 13:30:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/573793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/falsechaos/pseuds/falsechaos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki is in a cage and Tony is doing the talking, so why does Tony feel like he's the one being punished?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bargains

**Author's Note:**

> First time writing for this fandom and these characters, feedback greatly appreciated. Open for beta.

"Oh, I must be going mad. This blind optimism has almost become endearing."

Tony flashed Loki a bright grin. "Is that Stockholm Syndrome or are you just happy to see me?"

Loki arched a single raven brow.

Thick transparent walls and bright lights all around, a single narrowed perch thrust up from the center of the floor, smooth and molded, nothing at all to hide behind. Outside that sleek and smooth containment unit sat heavy rocks rough-hewn with runes and sigils from the shores of Asgard itself. Loki sat in the center of it all, in loose green tunic and drawstring sweatpants, a curious mix of Asgard and Migard and an indignant arrogance all his own.

"Level with me here, sweetcakes." Tony snagged a metal folding chair and dropped himself into it in the same motion. "I scratch your back, you scratch mine, quid pro quo Clarice, all that jazz." His fingers flashed over the console sitting next to him and the display flared bright and large enough Loki could see it easily. "We've got something very large and very unfriendly currently very close to a very populated area and it just got done trashing a place that isn't so populated anymore."

Tony flicked off the mute button. Screams poured forth and sirens wailed, each video clip cut short as it flickered to another, screen filling with pictures and pictures of the wounded and the demolished. In each, a flash of bile green and poison fang, a baleful golden eye. The screen cycled through the attack and the Avengers until it was over and only the broken and silent remained.

"Is this meant to arouse my pity? The plight of mayflies such as yourselves?" Loki leaned back, arms crossed over his chest.

"Thor's lightning and hammer whacks kept it disoriented, I kept it pissed, and Hulk... okay, I'll be honest, Hulk looked like he was having fun." Tony got up and started pacing as though Loki hadn't spoken at all. "The only thing that came close to wounding that thing was the edge of the Cap's shield, and that was only when he could get past the damned tail."

"Amusing as this presentation is, I fail to see--"

"Pipe down princess, not done yet." Tony held up a single finger.

Loki nodded once as though granting regal permission, amusement tugging at the corners of his mouth.

"And I don't think I could arouse anything with you if that little glow stick stunt is any indication of your track record." Tony paused and narrowed his eyes at Loki. "You don't do pity. Mercy. Human decency. Got that. But I'd wager you know a deal when you see one and we are currently desperate enough to offer one to you."

He jabbed a hand at the screen and one final frame rose to play live footage. "We tuckered out Big and Scaly enough it needs to take a nap." A massive serpent lay with its head buried in its coils as though devouring its own tail, dwarfing the helicopters that circled it like flies. A rough fence had been erected about it, tall and imposing had it encircled any other creature. "It's napping and it's *healing* faster than Old Glory can hack through those damned scales. And I am going to shave that damned eyebrow off if you don't put it back down."

"Was it my brother who suggested you come begging and whimpering to me for aid? Are all the sciences of Midgard and sorceries of Asgard not enough to combat this beast?" Loki tilted his head and offered a ragged grin bright with scorn. "Or is your desperation such that you would--"

"Yes." Blunt as Loki's smile was sharp. "I said deal, didn't I? Jarvis, are you following this? I did say *deal* didn't I?"

"Yes, Sir," the computer replied. "Do you require a playback?"

Tony glared at Loki. "Well, do you?"

Loki was silent a moment, gaze fastened on the screen. "Your terms." His scimitar smile was gone and green eyes solemn.

Tony paused. "What was that?"

"Are you deaf as well as a fool?"

"I admit, I expected a bit more... cajoling would be in order here." Tony pitched the bridge of his nose. "What were some of those names your brother tossed at me? Liesmith, Trickster, Silver Tongue? Better than some I've been called, I'll admit." Tony leaned back in his chair. "You aren't rolling over, but you're already showing your belly. Granted, I've got rugged good looks and a rapier wit in my favor, but I'm not *that* good."

"Is my company that pleasant you wish to trade barbs until the beast awakens?" Loki rose from his narrow seat and began pacing, longer fingers knit into a loose fist behind his back. "Perhaps I find your company so odious I am willing to comply if only to be rid of you."

"Play nice or I'll let Steve do the begging next time. He's already got a rousing speech rehearsed and everything."

Loki paused and leaned close to the barrier. "Your terms, Anthony Stark."

"Tell us how to kill it. No sleight of hand, no tucking it away for a rainy day, just how to kill it or at least stuff it back in the wormhole it crawled out of."

"I believe those are demands," Loki said in a soft voice. "Tell me what I may receive in return and I might deign to call them 'terms.'"

"How about a bit more slack in your leash? Thor puts in a good word with Daddy, you stay out of the dark hole at the bottom of the world for a little bit longer, and we say you're a bit closer to justice served on this little mudball." Tony crossed his arms over his chest. "Might even get you something to read in here while you wait. A pad with limited, monitored internet access. All the lolcats you can shake a meme at."

"You would seek to placate me with--"

"Terms. You asked, I offered, now make up your mind if you want it or not, because Fury's bosses are all hot to trot with another damned nuke."

"One of yours?"

"What did I say about eyebrows?" Tony growled.

"It is, isn't it? They wouldn't trust anything but the *best* for this task, would they?" Loki's hands balled into fists on the transparent barrier. "Something enough large to strike it down and *burn* it before it can heal itself, something that might be more poisonous than the beast itself." A quicksilver grin spread until it threatened to split his face. "You don't know, you aren't certain, but it gnaws at you--"

Tony shot up from his chair and turned away. "Fury, I owe you that ten, Professor Snape here is just wasting my damned time. Go ahead and let your bottle rocket fly."

"--It eats at you!" Loki's voice rose to a raspy snarl. "That as much as you try to craft and build and repair, those same hands still--"

"This room is *not* big enough for both our egos. Just not zoned for it."

"--You can *never* hope to burn that beast out! Not even with your weapons of fire and death, there is *never* enough to--"

Tony flicked at the screen without looking at it. The intercom cut off. "No, go ahead, tell me how you really feel." Silence even as Loki continued to rage. "I'll turn the comm back on in a few minutes when you're done with your tantrum. And really, that's all it is. Really? Poking at the WMD stuff? Big easy target. Bullseye right on my damned back."

Loki fell to sullen silence, eyes pinned on every dismissive wave of Tony's hands.

"That's all you've got? You've sent interrogators out of here *crying* and this is all I get? I'm hurt, Loki. I thought we had something special. I make wisecracks, you toss me out windows. I was actually looking *forward* to this. Not every day you get to match wits against the God of Mischief himself."

Loki mouthed a single word.

"Sorry what was that?"

He flashed a pointed glare at the monitor where Tony's fingers still hovered.

"Oh, that. Right. Probably won't be fit to repeat in mixed company, but at this point I'm just hanging out for shits and giggles anyway." Tony's fingers twitched.

"Nidhogg."

"I'll assume that's a name. Dragon thing, right? Gnaws at the roots of the Yggdrasil thing? Big for us, but kinda puny for that."

Loki snorted. "Your myths and misrepresentations of Asgard are ever a source of amusement for me. It is a devourer nonetheless. Salt the earth around it. Thoroughly. It will shed its skin and you must strike while its armor is still soft. Remove the head. *Then* burn it until it it naught but ash." Gentle smile and easy amusement as though humoring a child.

"And how do I know you aren't lying?"

"Because you remain here instead of tending to Fury's 'bottle rocket.' There was never as such, was there?"

"No," Tony said. "But let's see if I still owe him that ten." He folded the chair and set it aside and dismissed the screens with a flick of his wrist. "We get rid of Beasty first and then you can have fun trying to wrap your head around internet pop culture. I'd say it's been a pleasure, but I've only got the energy to be a smartass, not sincere." He turned once more and headed towards the door.

"A request, if I may."

Tony glanced over his shoulder, eyes hard. "Don't push it."

Loki held up his hands. "Nothing of the sort. *Was* it Thor that bid you speak to me?"

"Yes."

"When you raise your glasses in victory tonight, would you ask he regale you with the tale of his first nidhogg hunt? How he struck the killing blow after we laid down a line of salt around the beast as per Asgard tradition?" His grin bared blunt white teeth. "I believe I might enjoy a playback."

Tony was silent as he left the room.


End file.
